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Idiums from John Mark N Reynolds

Friday, March 26, 2010
Why isn't C.S. Lewis perfect? His views on T.S. Eliot keep him from being in the Canon. Read "Four Quartets" and have your heart healed.

T.S. Eliot is not perfect: he wrote irritating descriptions of his work designed to torment us. He should have carefully read Screwtape.

Plato is not in the Canon, because he thinks that if the soul of Samson transmigrated to Mary . . . Samson would be degraded.

Aristotle is not in the Canon, because he doesn't understand mothers at all.

Virgil is not in the Canon, because he thinks Caesar is Lord.

Augustine is not in the Canon, because he is too worried about enjoying the roses.

Boethius is not in the Canon, because Lady Philosophy is sometimes wrong.

Dante is not in the Canon, because writing about torturing popes you don't like isn't very Christian.

Aquinas is not in the Canon, because he cannot decide if he is Catholic or not.

Homer is not in Canon, because he never read the standard Torrey freshman paper "Why Jehovah is Greater than Jove."

Obama is not in the Canon, because it already has four Messianic memoirs full of hope and change.

Posted via email from Dei Gratia Rex

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