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From Let It Rip, “The BCS Bottom 10: The Roof, the Roof, the roof is on Fiyah!”

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

September 19, 2007

The BCS Bottom 10: The Roof, the Roof, the roof is on Fiyah! (Permalink / Trackback)
These are hard times across this land of ours. Jobs going overseas. Predatory lending forcing many to default on home loans. Law & Order actors running for president. Martian rovers outlasting most General Motors vehicles. Kanye outselling 50 Cent.
We here at the BCS Bottom 10 also are feeling the pinch. We’ve been forced to consolidate due to the sheer ugliness of football being played in two particular states. That’s why this week’s 10 is actually a Bottom 14.

***
1. NOTRE DAME
Last week: l. to Michigan
This week: Michigan State
Demetrius Jones skips out on the Michigan bus because he’s enrolling at Northern Illinois. No need to say anything else.
Prediction: Michigan State 17, Notre Dame 10
***
2. THE STATE OF IOWA
Last week: Iowa State 15, Iowa 13
This week: Iowa at Wisconsin, Iowa State at Toledo
So, apparently, the best team in Iowa is Northern Iowa. The mighty Panthers defeated Iowa State, which defeated Iowa.
Prediction: Obama over Clinton, Guliani over That Law & Order guy
***
3. SYRACUSE
Last week: l. to Illinois 41-20
This week: at Louisville
The school’s own newspaper is now calling for Greg Robinson to be fired, declaring that a win for Syracuse these days is still being in the game in the third quarter.
Prediction: Louisville 55, Syracuse 7
***
4. NORTHWESTERN
Last week: l. to Duke, 20-14
This week: at Ohio State
Surely, the Wildcats didn’t see Duke coming. They had those huge statement games against Northeastern and Nevada. They had to be emotionally drained after those.
Prediction: OSU 62, Northwestern 10
***
5. THE STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA
Last week: 2-2
This week: Clemson’s playing one of them
What a mess. It used to be Duke was far-and-away the worst. Now all four of these ACC dirt clods are 1-2.
Prediction: Pain.
***
6. MICHIGAN
Last week: d. Empty Gold Helmets, 38-0
This week: Penn State
Watch out for the Wolverines! Here they come! Big Ten title or bust, baby! CybeRip guarantees a Michigan victory this week!
Prediction: Penn State 28, Michigan 21 (ok, we lied)!
***
7. TENNESSEE
Last week: l. to Florida 59-20
This week: Arkansas State
Our BCS Bottom 10 super computer takes a vast number of factors to … oh, forget it. When Tennessee loses, it REALLY loses. That’s why they’re here.
Prediction: Tennessee 32, Arkansas State 17
***
8. AUBURN
Last week: l. to Mississippi State 19-14
This week: New Mexico State
The Tigers’ offense is so bad, it switched to the “three yards and a cloud of dust” option scheme and earned hearty cheers from the home crowd. Pathetic.
Predicition: Auburn 8, New Mexico State 5
***
9. MINNESOTA
Last week: l. to Florida Something 42-39
This week: Purdue
If you’re the coach of a team that surrenders 463 passing yards to Florida Atlantic, aren’t you required to do the honorable Kung Fu Samurai thing?
Prediction: Purdue 99, Minnesota walking the land
***
10. OKLAHOMA STATE
Last week: l. to Troy 41-23
This week: Texas Tech
This is how bad Minnesota is … Oklahoma State beat Florida Atlantic 42-6. Georgia’s “big” win against the Cowboys doesn’t look good right now.
Prediction: Texas Tech 49, Oklahoma State 17
***

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